TLDR: This is going to be a long one! Scrolling through memories of the past year - the changes and lessons, hits and misses, happiness and sadness, wins and frustrations - all captured in an emotional, heartfelt, and reflective way.
Context: When I say long procrastinated, it’s literally 2 years since I planned to start this, but everytime I would just start and then leave it midway. I made an attempt to do it last year too, but left it incomplete (I’ll hopefully now add it to my list of WIP stuff). I am fondly recollecting the small cute party that some of my friends threw for me on my 23rd birthday, and I was writing that blog in question during then. If you want to have a quick peek on it - check it out here.
My 23rd birthday was caked with happiness, having had a successful IndiaFOSS, the happy and exciting shift to a tech role at FOSS United, as we (along with Harsh and Mangesh) decided to work on the platform with more fervour for a 2024 launch, and the usual curiosity that springs for what’s yet to come.
2024 has been rather melancholic for me, with the downs outweighing the ups, losses overshadowing gains, and unexpected shocks along the way. I find myself at a crossroad in terms of direction and work - a period of experimentation and learning that’s, surprisingly, enjoyable too. While it comes with its share of insecurities, anxiety, and self-doubts, but meaningful in terms of finding purpose.
The fluctuations
I wouldn’t say everything had been great at the start of the year. Following a significant personal loss, I was literally in a haze to get the platform out, which already got into a delay. We finally released the public alpha on the first week of March, but what followed was a set of unfortunate circumstances at work, that left me frustrated, alienated and untrusted, that I just wanted to leave. I could feel the dynamics within our team changing that was just the start of the domino.
After around 2 years of hiatus from consistent engineering-centric work, I was already underconfident of writing code again, and getting my ideas and opinions communicated. Andrew gave me directions to move forward, confidence when I felt intimidated and the push to do more. The catchup calls with Advaith kept me in line, as he constantly reminded me to play to my strengths too, while I worked on my weaknesses. I am grateful to both of them!
I went to attend FOSSMeet’24 at NIT Calicut, a welcome break for me after the trudgy 2 months. We started a roadtrip from Kochi to Calicut, and spent a great weekend of sessions, workshops and much more. This was the 20th year of FOSSMeet, one of the largest events in Kerala dedicated to Free and Open Source Software (FOSS). It’s really proud to know that Kerala has a history in the Free Software Movement. I left feeling calm and assured, with renewed energy and intention to work on something new at FOSS United - something at the intersection of tech and community.
Coming back, I went through all the open/shelved ideas on the forum and thought to take up Season of Commits. This kind of matched with some of my ideas of open source projects’ sustenance, fostering a contributing/hacking/building culture among students and community. Most of the events we had, focused heavily on FOSS related discussions, inspiring conversations and knowledge sharing, but little that encourage more projects, or provide a space, means and incentives to contribute to existing projects. I wanted to do a soft launch first, that culminated in the FOSS Hack Partner Projects Programme, which was a decent success, achieving all the expectations I had. Planning it end-to-end alone was a self-realisation/discovery exercise as well.
FOSS United faced another fire when Rushabh and Kailash stepped down as directors, and a new leadership formed and org itself started on a new direction, as we gathered a renewed sense of purpose and energy. We tried to regroup together as a team, and I saw in the course of next 3-4 months the org changing through many ups and downs. IndiaFOSS 2024 was a definite great hit, while the fallout with the Bangalore Community Volunteers left myself and many down.
Amidst all this, a redundant familial skin condition that got triggered took most of my time and mindspace to get it treated.
Finally my time at FOSS United (check my previous blog) came to a close, when I left my full-time role at the org, same day a month a ago. Now this is the cross-road that I mentioned before. There are many questions to answer and explanations to give when you are faced with such a decision - a concerned family to deal with, and above all your own insecurities. But figuring out piece by piece had been a key point - what I want to do next, what direction I should pursue, and how would I do that, will I get to start over again.
Something I am eternally grateful for is my circle of friends and loved ones. I never expected I would form such close bonds, as help came from different directions - my family who supported me, let me make my decisions and follow by it, and partly my experiences that didn’t let me lose my head.
The most treasured…
It’s not all been challenges this year. There have been special moments that, when pieced together, paint a beautiful picture. A large portion of these memories came from traveling.
The travels and fun stuff
The March roadtrip to Calicut for FOSSMeet with Andrew, Mufeed, Subin and Irene to Calicut for FOSSMeet in March was one of the highlishts, something I hope will become an annual tradition. Apart from the experience of the conference itself, I enjoyed the food, the renowned Calicut Paragon Biriyani, the late night Sulaimani, the walk alongside beach (which I was drawn to ever since I watched Ustad Hotel).
The April trip to Mumbai for MumbaiFOSS 2.0 included a meaningful visit with my elder cousin Sweta. We spent hours in the evening talking at the Bandra Bandstand Promenade. She’s one of my strongest pillars of support and a woman I deeply admire. I was thrilled to know she’s moving to Bangalore to start a new role at Ola.
A fun trip with Irene and the Zerodha Tech Team in May via Road from Palakad via Guruvayoor to Fort Kochi was another memorable experience, where I fulfilled my bucketlist item of riding a ferry.
September brought a wonderful weekend with my parents in Bangalore. They’ve settled well in the UK, with a proud achievement for Mom as she cleared her PLAB exams there. She’s my living example of “Never Give Up,” and I get most of my perseverance from her. Surprisingly, my brother has become one of my biggest allies through all these changes. We’ve come a long way from our childhood fights and tantrums that used to make people wonder, “If they’re like this now - what will happen in future?” to him now saying, “എന്താ കൊച്ചെ, നിനക്കു എന്തു പറ്റി, ഞാൻ ആരെലും ഇടിക്കണോ ??” (What happened? Should I deal with anyone for you?). I’m not sure exactly when we became each other’s support systems - perhaps distance brought us closer, or maybe it’s because our parents are away - but I’m grateful to have Rosh by my side.
The TechRoastShow trip at Bangalore, and easily the best time of the year as I spend a weekend of food, conversations, hangout, games and much more with some of my closest friends - Lemia, Bijoy, Subin, Kiran, Abhay, Andrew, Athul and Abhinav. We refreshed all of our childhood fantasies at the trampoline park, laughed our lungs out at the Roast, had walk around Church Street and Cubbon Park, tried Nepalese food (first time for me and several others!) and much more!
There are countless other cherished moments: watching my first ISL match live with Irene, late-night theatre times, FOSS United team dinners, Sunday breakfasts, shopping sprees with Ponnu (my paternal grandmother), relishing my maternal grandmother’s pooris during home visits, meeting Tessy Ma’am and my other teachers after nearly a year, and catching up with Deepak, Kevin, Aswin, and Navaneeth to reminisce about college work and share current stuff. Looking back, all these seemingly small moments made my year more heartwarming!
Celebrating small hits
There were several small hits this year, which collectively bring a sense of satisfaction.
I was delighted to return as a mentor for Tink-her-Hack 2.0 - I was more deeply involved in the first edition of this largest women hackathon in Kerala. After a six-month break from giving talks, I gave an in-person talk at Google I/O Extended, Kochi - centred around my brief ongoing experience with the FOSS Community and playing a part in building an open source community platform end-to-end.
Participated in full-swing on a 36-hr hackathon, the last one being Ingress Hack, 3 years ago. Andrew and I teamed up for FOSS Hack 2024 and worked on probe,that stemmed out of our coversations around open source sustainability, and I am looking forward to contributing to it more. The OpenNyAI residency at Tinkerspace connected me with para-legal volunteers, offering new perspectives on their challenges and leading to engaging opportunities.
I am also grateful to have received the Upraised Women in Tech scholarship that provided path for a wonderful learning opportunity on product management. Receiving the GraceHopper India scholarship was another heartening moment (I had missed on applying during my college years) and I am finally going to attend the GraceHopper Celebration in-person happening in India,this year.
What may never come back…
The past year lost me some special people, losses that still aches my heart.
The year began with the loss of my beloved maternal grandfather, Prof. Daniel Oommen, the OG engineer in the family! He lived a blessed life, fulfilling all his responsibilities and raising his children admirably. I find comfort in knowing he had a peaceful and painless passing. The year before saw us talking much more than ever, when he used to ardently listen to my work, studies, travel stories - probing me to plan life properly and never settle for less. When I met him during Christmas Eve 2023, I didn’t expect that this would be last time with him. as it suddenly felt as if there were still a lot more things that I had to tell him, that I didn’t spend enough times with him and there should’ve been lot more…
There is no greater blessing for a daughter than to have a good father, my mother had that, and so do I.
Another one was Abe (Abraham Raji), a dear friend - another unexpected event that left many of us in shock and still recovering. I could only get to spend so little time with Abe as comparitively as others, but the impact and assurance he brought in was exponentially more. I miss you Abe, and I really wish I had more time with you!
Continued on 12 Nov, 2024
The present and next…
After an anxious September and October, November brought a calm space and mindset that I hope to maintain through year’s end.
I am currently at the 9th week of my Upraised PM programme, buzzing with learn parties, project works, weekly sessions with my mentor Aswin Sambamurthy, who provides great insights and direction on navigating the product space.
I am happy to have joined an LLP as a part-time engineer, where we are experimenting with products and ideas. While at it, I probed back again refreshing my engineering concepts, and working on small hobby projects for learning. I am also working with India Labourline on some of their technical improvements.
I’m finally documenting my work - something I neglected for the past three years. It’s also great that the Vue community in India regrouped again, the first meetup in Bangalore was lit, with Evan You and Daniel Roe joining online with their keynotes on the Vue and Nuxt ecosystem.
Whatever the next year has in store for me, I am excited to embrace it. For more ups and downs, good times and bad times, for family and friends, and anything else connected, as I enter into the 25th year of my life!
Good vibes!
PS: Should I complete and publish the blog I started last year? (Would be great to have your thoughts - ping me if you can please!)